My husband & I have such a fabulous job empowering women & children by teaching them to escape and survive an attack! We get to travel all over the country speaking and meeting wonderful women in our workshops. On one hand what we do is very rewarding and on the other it can be sad when we hear the stories that women tell. I wanted to share some of their stories and then you will understand why they say “I wish I would have known” or “if only”. Unfortunately these sound like an episode of some of our favorite television shows only there not, they are real life stories.

I have an acquaintance whose grandmother was beaten to death outside of a Macy’s in Atlanta over a purse snatching. Please let it go, nothings worth your life!

A student was attending one of our workshops at a university because she had been approached on campus by a person who said he was a professor but wasn’t. He kept asking her why she was so nervous. She was nervous because her instincts were right, he wasn’t a professor.

A woman who had seen our television show called because her sister had been beaten to death by her boyfriend with a 2 x 4. Nobody should ever have to die like that.

Another college student was participating in our workshop because her previous boyfriend choked her and held her out the dorm window. We taught her how to escape.

If you are married to an army ranger you should be safe right? That army ranger choked his wife. She was in safe house and now knows how to protect herself.

I met a woman last week who as a 14 year old teenager was asked for directions by a stranger.  She got in the car with him because she was running late for school. He didn’t take her to school… She had to jump out of a moving car but lived to tell her story.

An elderly woman has a male friend over that she’s known for years. All of a sudden in her kitchen he starts to attack her. It wasn’t domestic violence; he had psychotic dementia that hadn’t been diagnosed yet. She had been to a workshop of ours in the past and was able to escape based on what we showed her.

I think this is the saddest of all… A woman’s sister has been missing for 20 years. She had no idea what happened to her, it’s a cold case. She said that if her sister knew what we were teaching today she would probably still be here.

These are just some of too many stories. But the good news is that these women are reacting and investing in their personal safety by learning to escape from an attacker. Nobody can guarantee what you are learning will save your life, but it greatly increases your odds. We hope to see you one day in our travels!

Remember, Safety Can Be Simple!

Tracy Vega, Owner- Simple Self Defense for Women

We see stories on television all the time about predators peeking in on women and children changing their clothes. It happens in retail store fitting rooms, hotels, restrooms, gyms & even schools. How many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror? It could be a 2-way mirror (i.e., they can see you, but you can’t see them). You know the ones they use in those interrogation rooms on your favorite television show?

It is very difficult to positively identify the surface just by looking at it. So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty what type of mirror we are looking at?

Here’s how:  Just conduct this simple test: Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is GENUINE mirror. However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the image of your nail, then BEWARE! IT IS A 2-WAY MIRROR!

TWO WAY GLASS IMAGE MIRROR IMAGE

“No Space, Leave the Place” So remember, every time you see a mirror, do the “fingernail test.” It doesn’t cost you anything.

I thought it was quite interesting! And I know in about 30 seconds you’re going to do what I did and find the nearest mirror (take the glass cleaner with you to wipe off the smudge).

Remember, safety can be simple!

Tracy Vega, Owner- Simple Self Defense for Women

The garage is getting a little crowded and you decided it’s time to sell a few things to make some extra room & money. It’s time for the treadmill you aren’t using and the car you aren’t driving to find new homes. With all of the communication we have available today it will be simple to place an ad right? Once you start advertising you are inviting strangers into your life and your home.  In most cases people are very cautious who they let into their home but for some reason once a for sale sign goes up people throw caution to the wind. After all you do want to sell your items so you start making appointments for people to come to your house. Do you know anything about these potential buyers?  The car you can put out in the driveway for them to look at or even meet them somewhere if you aren’t comfortable having them to your tome. But remember the treadmill is in the garage and has to be hooked to electric in order for them to try it. Now you are not out in the open anymore. I’m not saying selling personal items is bad. I just want you to be aware of the potential danger and take precautions when you invite a stranger to your home. Make sure someone is home with you, try not to give them to much personal information, and still let another person know that someone is coming to our house. You should take the same precautions if you were going to a stranger’s house.

Remember, safety can be simple!

Tracy Vega, Owner- Simple Self Defense for Women

Have you ever noticed that sex sells? Sure you have and advertising professionals know that, too! That’s why we see pictures of people all over ads. A lot of times the people in the advertisements are just actors and not actually affiliated with the business. Many times women in real estate, banking, cosmetics, etc. put their picture on their business cards because they want to show that they are professional and have a face you can trust. Most likely these are women that you feel very comfortable letting into your home. Let’s face it, you recognize them from their advertisement.

For all of us that watch TV, I know you have seen the show where a bad guy picks out his victim by the advertisement or the picture he saw. Guess what, that’s not just fiction! It happens more than you want to hear. In our PBS television special we did a home decorating scene where a young woman was invited to the home by a gentleman to do a consultation for him and his wife. When she arrived there was no wife, but there were two bad guys. They had seen her picture on her business card and in an advertisement, so they knew right where to go to find her.

Instead of using your picture on your business card, use your logo or an Avatar. Pictures are everywhere these days. Someone could take a picture off one of the social media sites and easily become a person you would trust.

The women in our show knew what to do to escape, but everyone isn’t prepared. If you are uncomfortable about where you are going have someone drive with you and wait in the car. If you have to go alone, do some research before you head to someone’s home. Make sure you tell someone where you are going, what time your appointment is, how long it’s scheduled for.  Not every situation is bad, but you could have an accident along the way or problems with your car. If you don’t show up when you should at least friends or family have an idea where to start looking.

All women are beautiful in their own way. Save that beautiful picture for someone special in your life. It might just save yours!

Tracy Vega- Simple Self Defense for Women

What does a bad guy look like, how would you describe them? It’s a question we ask at each of our Simple Self Defense for Women workshops and the answers are always very enlightening and interesting. I asked a group of girl scouts what they thought a bad guy would look like and they told me he would have on a hoodie, tattoos, sunglasses and probably drives an old van. I would like to suggest that probably comes from watching a lot of television! Most adults today would think of ponytails, tattoos, big muscles and piercings. Of course if you took a minute to look around that could describe almost anyone and probably even someone in your own family today.

The other question I always ask is do bad guys wear ties or suits? The response from the audience is almost always a resounding NO! Really, bad guys don’t wear ties? Anybody remember Ted Bundy? He wore a tie and was a good looking man. If a nice looking man came to your front door in a suit & tie (but you were not expecting him) would you still consider him to automatically be a good guy? The answer to that question is usually a yes as well! Bad guys don’t wear a sign or name tag saying hi I’m a bad guy and in about 10 seconds I am going to grab you, attack you or worse. A bad guy can easily be someone you know or least expect. How many times do you turn on the news only to see someone saying “he seemed like such a nice guy”?

Statistically speaking most attacks are from someone you know, a friend of friend, it could be the guy that cuts your lawn, helps you at the grocery store, or brings up your trash cans.  In fact the title of “bad guy” doesn’t just apply to men, women attack women or are the lure to the attacker. Women tend to be more trusting towards other women and could become a victim with this ploy. So the answer to the question, what does a bad guy look like is simple, they look like everyone else. The best self-defense is to be alert and trust your instincts! Remember, safety can be simple!

Each time we conduct one of our workshops we hear stories from our participants. Sometimes they share them with the group and other times they wait until everyone has left. It can be hard to listen to some of the stories but the women want someone to talk to and they want us to tell their stories so other women can learn from it. What’s interesting is on at least three occasions I have heard a very similar story that I want to share with you. All of them had a “feeling”.

Busy women in grocery stores can be perceived as easy targets. They may be preoccupied with their list, coupons, sale prices, and getting home to the family. They move quickly throughout the store and on to the next project but with all this going on they also can be very intuitive.

In each of the stories told the women felt uncomfortable as if they were being watched or followed. As it turns out they were right!  They were being targeted in the store by not just one person, but two. One person was walking around pretending to shop while watching the potential victim and the other was waiting just outside the store or in a separate location in the store. The first person describes them, makes sure they are alone and an easy target and the second person waiting for the right time to attack.

The most recent story is of an older woman I will call Elaine who was walking out to her car. Elaine was uncomfortable, feeling as if someone was watching her and wanted to follow her instincts.  Elaine’s car was a hatchback (opening in the rear) and she felt vulnerable leaning over to put her groceries in leaving her back exposed, not being able to see who was approaching. Instead she opened her passenger door and put her items inside the car while keeping the suspicious person in her sight. There were two empty parking spaces separating Elaine from the man who was making her uncomfortable.  Once secure in her car Elaine watched the person sitting in his car motion to another who was just a few parking spaces away. The hand motion was a slicing wave past the neck indicating Elaine wasn’t the right person. Apparently they felt she was too alert and was aware something was wrong.  She trusted her instincts and she was right!

We have heard many other stories from women where the outcome was life changing and have said “If only I followed my instincts”. Fortunately the grocery store situations ended without harm. The women were alert, aware of their surroundings and paid attention to the uneasy feelings they were experiencing. These incidents highlighted the need to know more about personal safety and they all attended one of our Simple Self Defense for Women workshops. As a result they now feel more empowered if a situation like that were to happen again and have also taken our advice to carry pepper spray as part of the program.

I also want to point out that don’t always assume that the “bad people” are always men. It could be a couple or even other women.  In most cases a woman isn’t as suspicious if another woman approaches them with a question or appears to be in need.

Women have great instincts but we can sometimes be too nice and don’t want to be rude. When your personal safety is at risk we want you to learn from the grocery store incidents.

Trust and follow your instincts, it could save your life!

I think we have heard that sentence our whole lives! DON’T TALK TO STRANGERS!! As kids we figure this out pretty quickly and as parents we feel good that we have taught them well. As we grow a little older we use some common sense. We know who is a stranger, and who we really just don’t want to talk to. But what happens when we get older or our parents get older?? Now it’s our time to watch them and tell them who to talk to, who to give money to, who they should open the door to.

My husband and I have been teaching women to escape for some time now and we are very fortunate to have our mothers around to watch our success and even participate in our workshops. They hear us talk about all of the scenarios and you would think they might have picked up a few tips right? Ok, so I have to share my funny “mom” story.

We were heading out to a restaurant for a family celebration. Most of us live pretty close and mom still drives so she said she would meet us there. When we were younger she was anywhere early and now that we are older, she’s never late! So as we drove up to the restaurant I said to my husband, “who is that mom is sitting with”? We had no idea. As we are walking up mom gets up to greet us and the two (much younger) men say goodbye to her using her first name. I had to ask… so who are your friends? To which she replies, I just met them but they are very nice. They are from around the same area we were from back north. She continues on with the whole story and I realize how much information she has given to TOTAL STRANGERS!! She was convinced they were waiting for a friend to eat. Well, they were still sitting outside the restaurant when we were finished about 90 minutes later.

I had to laugh as I said to my mother “so do you know anyone that teaches women about personal safety”?

I think most of us want to believe that all people are good natured and nobody will hurt or take advantage of us. So when we are teaching the people close to us about the dangers of talking to strangers, please be sure to remind the elders in your life as well!