It has been raining cats and dogs for a week in Atlanta. To say the weather mildly depressed me, is an understatement. My normal colorful aura now matched the bleakness outdoors. I also had a cold, which made things worse!  In fact, I will share a mental visual with you on how bad things were!

Picture this: It is late last Monday evening, raining, and my cold has finally hit me full force. I am coughing so hard I can’t stop. Two dogs have their heads on my chest, bouncing in rhythm with my spasms. I gently push them to the side and get off the couch hoping to find something in the bathroom medicine cabinet to soothe me. The image staring back at me in the mirror is scary. My hair, normally bouncy, was flat and in odd spikes towards the crown. Grey was the color of my roots and my mood.  Sad, tearing eyes were accented with dark circles. To my dismay, but not unexpected, there was nothing in the medicine cabinet to take for my cough.

Lately, I am unprepared for anything at home. The only staple in my house is dog food.

I had no energy to run out to the drug store. I could not stop coughing. I had a sharp pain in my head from hacking so hard.

Surely I had something I could take!

Next stop was the kitchen. My hopes were high as I flung open the pantry. No honey. No syrup. No tea. Nothing, except an outdated box of microwave popcorn.

Frantically, I pulled open the bottom cabinet. Tucked in the back was a bottle of bourbon, leftover from my cousin’s visit last spring. There was a half-inch of booze in the bottle. I grabbed it, twisted off the cap, and took a quick swig. My throat calmed immediately. I felt a warm fuzzy go through my body. I relaxed.

The dogs and I curled up in bed. I caught another image in the mirrored closet door that horrified me. I had become the old dog lady of my nightmares. My flat hair outlined in grey was the least of my chagrin.  My usual lovely looking bed was unsightly. The vintage quilts I love to snuggle in were lumped up on the bed. A dog head peeked out from under the pile. Dressed in my pink knit sweater and turquoise polka-dot PJ bottoms, I looked rumpled and frumpy. The only good news, the colors blended nicely with the quilts. Five dogs were sprawled in all positions around me on the bed. The almost empty bottle of bourbon, tightly tucked under my arm, was ready in case of a coughing attack. The last thing I remember, my hound dog licking my bare feet as I fell asleep.

“I looked like a derelict!” I told my best friend when I called her the next morning.

“You need to re-stage that and get a photo. Perfect for your next book cover!” She always inspires me.

My cold is over. But the rain lingered for longer than my sanity could handle. I was in a funk, depressed all week. I was late opening my shop. I let the dust bunnies roll across my hardwood floors. I went to dinner with a friend wearing the white T-shirt I had slept in for three nights, covered by a sweater vest. I did spray my favorite perfume around my shoulders before I ran out into the rain to meet her. When I don’t wear perfume, put me in the ground.

This morning the sun has come back to visit. It is bright outside my window. The leaves are sparkling, as if covered in diamonds. I am euphoric. My energy level is high.

This week taught me two things.

Keep cough syrup at home.

The merits of sun are not over rated.

Research has shown that sun is a key factor in our moods, energy levels, and outlook on life. Extended periods of cloudy weather can make people irritable, stressed, and depressed. (Me this week!) This is also a problem for people who work inside and miss getting out in the sun.  The medical community has a name for those who suffer from depression due to lack of sun, SAD. Seasonal Affective Disorder.

The sun, a natural source of Vitamin D, protects against a host of diseases. Even though there are many benefits from being in the sun for brief periods of time, many experts worry the health warnings about skin cancer may keep people from getting a proper amount of sunshine. Vitamins are recommended to fill in for lack of sun.

I am not a health expert. You need to do your own research.

I do know that between writing and working in my shop, I am rarely outside. My last blood test was excellent, except my vitamin D levels were way too low.

“You need to take a vitamin D supplement,” my tiny doctor, with her thick German accent, waved her scrawny finger in my face. “Your body is not functioning well without it.”

“I just started taking vitamin D!” I was so excited I could say something positive about my health. I had received a sample of Easy-2-Swallow vitamins a few weeks prior to my visit and wrote about them in a post here on The Balancing Act. My smile was eager, waiting for her praise.

“Well, lose some weight before your next check-up.” She closed my chart and left.

You can’t please everyone all the time

However, I am pleased as punch today! One morning of sunshine has chased away a week of lethargy and depression. I am my old self. My mood has a lightness about it that makes me hum.

Oh, that bottle of bourbon, it still has a tiny sip left. I’ve placed it back where I found it. You know, in case another health crisis! Chances are I’ll forget to buy that cough syrup. I am over my cold now.

The sun is enticing me to get outside. I am not over wanting to bask in its glory. In just a minute I’ll be heading out to my deck with five dogs yapping at my heels. I am working on my healthy dose of sunshine today. The vitamins are a daily given. After all, they are Easy-2-Swallow!

Color me happy! I am no longer blue.

Watch The Balancing Act’s segment on Easy-2-Swallow vitamins here: www.thebalancingact.com/story/?id=3557.

Sadly, or perhaps with a bit of embarrassment, I have to admit, I have been talking too much the past few weeks. I prattle, ramble, and talk to hear my own voice. This was brought up to me on several occasions last week! Once to my face, by a friend being kind, and we laughed about it. She thought she was helpful. I laughed to disguise my total disgust with myself that she was absolutely right. Then later, after three phone calls that were going nicely, however lengthy, ended quickly with a ‘gotta run’ (or some such other phrase that indicated I was taking up more time than I should) followed by a fast disconnect. Who can blame them? I was exhausted myself from talking, but couldn’t stop my mouth from moving and spewing out word after word.

What is wrong with me? I have always been a talker, storyteller, as I call myself. I knew when to stop. I was great at making my friends laugh. Now I am burdening them with my business ideas. A little of that is fine, but even best friends get bored when I keep rehashing my thoughts.

Lately I have become a bit paranoid about this too. I make calls and no one answers. Are my friends avoiding me? Never mind there are times I don’t answer the phone because I am in the middle of something, or too tired. I am taking this personally, when I shouldn’t. But I know I’ve been a bit overbearing, so I am feeling guilty.

I have been stressed out more than usual the past weeks. I moved my shop from one location to another in the fall, but I still had one building to empty by the end of December. I procrastinated, because I was exhausted. I worried about decisions at the new shop, what goes, what stays and could not think clearly on my own. It was all I talked about to everyone. The more I talked about it, the less I could stop. When I get hyper it is hard to slow me down. 

 I worried some people with my comments. “Oh, it’s just me thinking out loud!” I told the gal who thought I expected her to work for free after I said “I can’t pay you if we don’t have sales.” I was just trying to figure if I could keep her on in the future, not that she wouldn’t be paid for what she had already worked. That was not really thinking out loud, but talking without thinking on my part.

When my husband was alive I had someone at home to run things by. I don’t know if he ever really listened, and I am not sure I paid any attention to his advice if he gave it. I do know there was another voice in the house at night other than my own. I am still adjusting to listening to the silence at night. That makes me talk too much when I am around people during the day.  I have that need to be heard.

This weekend a gal in my shop stayed to chat for longer than most. She was divorced, worked long hours, wrote at night and lived by herself. “Some days no one ever calls. It is too quiet at night.”

We hugged and laughed. “Me too!” I knew how she felt.

I have been on my own for over three years, soon to be four, and my life style is now firmly implanted. I work hard at the shop. I come home to five hooligan dogs. I write late into the evening. I call my mother every night so I have my family close. When I crash and watch TV, I am sprawled out on the couch with four of the five dogs tucked under my legs, over my chest, and nestled in my neck. The fifth sleeps close by on the floor. I have my cell within arms reach in case I need a talking fix.

Years ago I read somewhere, that if you visit someone who lives alone, let them talk, and you listen. It might be the only time they hear their own voice. I thought about elderly people back then, now I know differently.

  I think I have myself back under control. I talked so much I am tired and happy. I’ve worked out what needed to be resolved this week.  I haven’t chased off any friends. I still have my cell phone handy to make a call. While all is right in my world, there are many people living alone who would appreciate a call and the warmth of a human voice in the night. Tonight I think it’s my turn to listen!

Barbara Barth, CEO of Life

Be honest. How many New Year’s Resolutions have you kept? If you answer “all” or “most”, well, you make me sick. Just kidding! I am embarrassed to say I have never followed through on one. The most common resolutions for me are ‘change of diet’ and ‘loose weight’. Make note, tonight, January lst, I ordered pizza for dinner. How am I doing now?

New Year’s Resolutions are commitments we make to ourselves, for change in the coming year, during the most hectic holiday season at the end of the current year. I am usually hanging on by a thread from Thanksgiving to New Years, and all I want is for life to get back to normal. I also want my favorite TV shows to start new episodes, and all the Christmas specials to disappear forever. The phrase “New Year’s Resolutions” makes me feel I have to accomplish my goals in January, just as I am winding down, and have no desire to gear up for change. My list is put on the back burner and forgotten.

This year is going to be different. It is all in how you view it. I am looking at each word separately.

New. Year. Resolution.

New: “Different from the former or the old”, “Fresh and unused”, “Just found, discovered, or learned”.

Year. “The period of time during which Earth completes a single revolution around the sun, consisting of 365 days. In the Gregorian, or Western, calendar the year begins on January 1 and ends on December 31, called a calendar year.”

Resolution: “A resolving to do something. A course of action determined or decided on.”

Breaking up the words relaxes me. My pace is slowed, but I am moving forward.

I have 365 days to do something differently. I have a full year to learn and discover things. I have time to refresh. By giving each word its power, I have taken the pressure off the phrase.

New. Year. Resolution. #1-Health. I need to be stronger and take better care of myself. This past year has been abusive to my body. Lack of sleep, poor diet and no exercise has been my daily ritual. Establishing my shop, marketing my book, and writing late into the night has been my passion over reason.

Thanks to ‘The Balancing Act’ I have a jump-start on this resolution. During the holidays I received free samples of ‘Easy To Swallow’ (Easy 2 Swallow) vitamins the company supplied to them. I have wanted to supplement my diet and this seemed like a perfect opportunity to give it a try. I also hate to swallow pills. This would be a good test.

The three vitamins I am taking are: ‘Women’s Multi Complex With Iron’, ‘Calcium 250mg, with Vitamin D3’, and ‘EPA/DHA Fish Oil’. The pills are smaller and specially coated for easier swallowing. The Fish Oil is a small gel capsule. I am especially excited about the Fish Oil. EPA/DHA Omega-3 Fish Oil is proven to maintain healthy cholesterol and blood pressure while also supporting brain function, improving skin and strengthening hair. I’ve tried Fish Oil tablets before and they were hard to swallow and left a fish after taste. I am happy to report that these Fish Oil capsules slide down easily and I have not had issues with fishy taste or burps! When my samples are gone, I am buying more from their website. This is one New. Year. Resolution. I can easily keep. Check out their website at http://www.easy2swallowvitamins.com/.

The first day of the New Year was a lazy one. I never left the house. I slept most of the afternoon with five dogs by my side. I read recently that spending time with dogs, watching the sky, is not a waste of time. For me it is the best of times. I am happy to report I am also reading again, as I learn to pace myself.- New. Year. Resolution. #2.

In my jammies today I started on New. Year. Resolution. #3 – Writing. Online I renewed my membership in a writer’s club and registered for a book pitch with an agent this Spring.

I also signed up today, via Facebook, to join a local marketing group at their first 2012 meeting. New. Year. Resolution. #4 – Get my shop making money!

I have many more things to accomplish this year. But this is a start. Today I am relaxing with pizza. Yes, diet and exercise are part of New.Year. Resolution. #1, but it is still the holiday, and the plan was to break up the pressure of doing it all at once!

Resolutions for the New Year are fun to make, whether you keep them or not. The New Year is just like any other day, a chance to do good, be happy, take care of others and yourself. I think resolutions are just a way of helping us pull our thoughts together after a holiday season that has had us all over the charts! It is for me. Today I feel focused and relaxed. That is a feeling I’d like to take into 2012, perhaps as – New.Year.Resolution. #5

For now, I have one last bite of pizza to finish.

My big decision this year is how late to stay open at my shop on Christmas Eve. I have no one to spend Christmas Eve with, so spending it at the shop is a great option. If I pushed, I could make plans. But this year I feel like winging it. This is my fourth Christmas as a widow and each year brings something different. Each Christmas leaves an impression unlike the year before.

My husband died in May. In December there were so many old memories, but I was grabbing at life as quickly as I could, and Christmas brought magic, not tears. No I didn’t go see family. For twenty-five years we trecked to North Carolina for Christmas with his mother, back to the house for a day, then a trip down to see my mother in Florida, for New Year’s Eve. Two dogs went with us. Packing them in the van was the hardest. Bigger dogs needed room. I’d make a platform in front of the seats with luggage covered in traveling quilts. Both dogs could stretch out looking ahead, fresh air hitting them from the front, keeping the dog puke factor down. Going over a huge mountain top meant one of the two would most likely get car sick. They loved the holidays and travel. I loved having them with us. My husband hated dog puke in the van.

The first Christmas on my own, I still had my two dogs. We stayed home. Mother and mother-in-law had their own plans. I refused to travel. I had lunch with my bff on Christmas day. She is a trained chef – now that was a Christmas dinner to remember. At seven I had a date. I tried dating too soon after my husband died. I wrote about it in my book. But I needed to be out in life to accept my new life alone. I met my date at the only local pub open on Christmas night. We drank coffee and talked about everything. His remark to me, which sums up how well I dated then, “Oh Barbara, Barbara, what are we going to do with you?” Somehow my husband got me, but no other male has since. But all and all, it was a lovely Christmas. We jumped in his huge black truck and went on a tour of lights in the surrounding neighborhoods. The evening ended with us eating pancakes at The Waffle House at 10 PM. He dropped me back at my car and I swear I heard him yell, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night”, as he waved goodbye and disappeared into the night. We did not go out again, but he was my own Santa sharing Christmas memories to brighten my night.

My second Christmas, it was time for family. I flew my mother up from Florida and we hugged and laughed around the Christmas tree. By now the dogs had changed, as one had left me for dog heaven, but I had adopted three rescue dogs. So we had four dogs to make it a rollicking holiday. Friends came to visit, Each had a dog for their lap. They all loved my mother. Late at night she and I relaxed in our jammies and watched romantic Christmas movies. A Christmas full of love with my mother by my side.

Last Christmas I have trouble remembering. I had just signed a lease to open a shop the day after I launched my one and only copy of an online dog magazine. My dog number had grown to six. I didn’t travel. I didn’t date. I did see my bff. But I spent a quiet holiday, content with my dogs, sitting by the Christmas tree, making plans to open my storefront in January. My not being able to remember the details tells me two things, it was quiet and I accepted being on my own at the holidays. It was unremarkable in one way, and very remarkable in another. I was comfortable in my own skin being in my home with my dogs on Christmas.

This Christmas, I am the laziest of all. My shop is brimming with decorations. My house is a bit lackluster for the holidays.
I am in the Christmas spirit. You can’t have a shop full of twinkling lights and customers coming in wishing you “Merry Christmas” and “Happy Holidays” without catching the merriment. I have a tree decorated for the “Festival of Trees” for charity. I slip little trinkets to folks who come in the shop with their children. “Take a small ornament from the tree. It’s free!” I like to watch the kids trying to decide which they like best. So Christmas at my shop is in full swing.

At home, I have a small silver tinsel tree with tiny white lights that sparkle in the dark. A few of my favorite artist crafted angels sit on my mantel. There are no other decorations, there are no presents under the little tree. I watch my Christmas movies snuggled with five dogs (I lost my old girl this year). There is no big hoopla. No road trips. I have a shop to manage and this is the busiest of times for it.

My shop has brought an unexpected gift this year. New friends. I still don’t have a customer base to bring in cash sales, but I am rich in friendships now. That is something money can’t buy. Perhaps that is what I love best about my shop and why I work hard to keep it. The people I meet fill me with comfort and joy. I am having Christmas dinner with a new single girlfriend this week. (Single friends are hard to come by when you have spent most of your adult life as a couple). Another friend has invited me to Christmas brunch with her family. I will see my bff later on Christmas day.

So much money has gone into my shop this year, I am not worrying about spending it on presents. I have freed myself from the need to spend money on gifts that no one really wants. We’ve all talked about that, and are good with it. What I am giving this year is love. I think that is a gift that is needed daily, not just for the holiday season. I will call my family and friends and tell them, “I love you!” We’ll talk about memories past and look towards the future.

My shop will be open Christmas Eve as late as it needs to be. I don’t expect a last minute customer to run in to buy a gift, but it is possible someone will be visiting the square, alone, trying to fill time on a holiday that is full of families. I’ve been there myself. A new friend at Christmas is the best gift of all. When I lock the door and head home, five dogs will be anxious to see me. I will feed them and start calling my loved ones! I’ll start with my mother. “I love you!” Then my cell will be busy all night.

Barbara Barth, CEO of Life

I am beginning to think of myself as ‘The Nigeria Connection’. It seems I have a way of attracting scammers who want me to send money to Nigeria, or are living in Nigeria, and want to meet me. We all know where this is leading and it is not a pretty picture.

Recently, at a screenwriting class at my shop, I talked about my book, “The Unfaithful Widow”, and the section on my ill-fated online dating experiences. Lately Nigeria has played heavily into the e-mails I receive. One of the students was a lovely young author living in the metro Atlanta area.  “I’m from Nigeria!” She touched my arm and then started laughing. “You need to write about this!”

“It gets worse!” She had me giggling. “I’ve now gotten an e-mail with Nigeria in it on my car listed with Auto Trader!”

So on the suggestion of my new friend, this is the topic of my post today!

At first these e-mail annoyed me, then I learned to play with them, and finally, maybe, I’ve matured. I’ve learned to leave well enough alone and hit the ‘delete’ key to trash the e-mails.

I am not easily duped, and I don’t take dating seriously. I don’t have time to date at this stage of my life, opening a shop, and writing a new book. I write about the fact I ‘think’ about dating, more than wanting to date. But because I still ‘think’ about it, I keep popping up on the on-line dating sites, a month here, a month there. I never stay long and usually cancel out before my thirty days are up. It is a nice break when I am writing late at night to log on a dating site and shop for men. It is cheaper than logging onto Ebay and really shopping. Add a glass of sherry to the mix, and well, what can I say.

I also have a theory that since I am over sixty, and a widow, to some stupid (which is the kindest word I can think of) men, I fall into the category of old, alone, and if they are lucky, rich. I am none of the above. But I do think the combination of words, sixty-plus and widow, attracts a certain type of male predator. I’ve had this discussion with other women in the over sixty category trying online dating. Many of them have had success stories, some have had a few bad episodes, but they never turned into a harmful experience, because a family member interfered and stopped them from going further. But NONE have had the Nigeria connection I have.

Eight months ago I received a ‘flirt’ from a man who lived in Atlanta with his two children. He was very attractive with that All-American football hero look. He spoke kindly of his children. Then he suggested I write to his Yahoo e-mail address. He was so sincere, I thought, why not. The private message from Yahoo explained that while he lived in Atlanta, he was currently working in Nigeria, and was trying to get money together to fly home. “I feel certain there is a connection between us, I just need air fare.”

Red Flag! I called my best friend and we laughed. “Write him back. Tell him to send you a plane ticket to visit him.” Her advice sounded good. I did just that. Never heard from him again.

The next time I was on a dating site, a blond cowboy type sent an e-mail. He was charming. We exchanged several e-mails and then he wanted to text me. I gave him my cell and several texts came in. He wanted to call me. I let him. My blond cowboy had a heavy Middle Eastern accent that did not go with that photo. “I’ve posted more photos on-line” the deep voice informed me. I went to look and sure enough, he had. The cowboy was in a full model pose and, I swear I’d seen him in a magazine before. A quick text back informed him I knew he was not the man in the photo and I would report him to the police. I have to admit at that moment I was nervous he had my phone number. But that didn’t stop me from adding my two cents worth. I suggested that if he was going to use a fake identity, to use a photo that matched his voice. I never heard from him again.  I don’t think it was the police threat as much as my advice. He probably wrote me off as a nut job.

I had several more e-mails of men pretending to be someone they were not, and all had jobs in Nigeria, and family they wanted to come home to visit. Meeting me was also a high priority.

I decided it was time to have a little fun with this. I redid my profile. My header, “Looking To Visit Nigeria”. The body of my profile explained I had come to realize many handsome, American men were living and working in Nigeria. I’d like to meet one. I was a rich widow, but my money was tied up in real estate and the stock market. If the right man came along, I’d like a plane ticket to visit him. Just send the money and I will hurry to be with my true love. I added, “I am not sure what the wardrobe requirements are in Nigeria, but if you send extra money, I will buy something to please.”

Some of you are shaking your heads wondering if I am sane. I am not late at night. But a gal has to have some fun. I eagerly waited for Match to put up my profile. After all the messages I received from men in Nigeria, Match screened my profile and declined posting it. I am sure I had many key words that sent up a flare to them. Nice to know they do follow through on checking their profiles. I guess they have no control over the correspondence that goes back and forth.

Last month I decided it was time to sell my 79 Corvette Stingray. It was a key character in my book, but after three years I rarely drive it. I thought selling it would be money I could put towards my new shop. I listed the car on Auto Trader, feeling I was in a safe place.

The first, and only, interest came from a gal in England named Chloe. “I’d love to buy your car for my husband as a birthday surprise. He is currently working in Nigeria. If you can guarantee that the car is in good condition, and send me all your Pay Pal information, I will include shipping charges, as well as your full price, and send a shipper to pick up the car.” I know that somehow my Pay Pal account would be in jeopardy, someone might get the car, but I was still in the dark on how this would shake down.

Since I listen to signs from the universe, I decided the universe wants me to keep my car. I deleted the e-mail. I am making an appointment to have a new battery put in the vette (it has been sitting way too long and the battery dead) and I am going to start driving it, leaving my van at home. Perhaps I’ll find that cowboy on my own!

Online dating can be fun. It can be dangerous. I have made it a point if someone wants to use a private e-mail immediately, or wants to instant message me, or if there is anything else that even causes me to question it, I stop in my tracks. It is easy to put up a fake profile. Some dating sites protect their member’s photos from being copied, yet on other sites, you can simply right click a photo, save it, and use it to set up a false identity. Another gal I talked with was writing to a man in South Georgia. He gave her the name of a company where he worked. The name checked out, but when she talked to the man behind the name, he was not the person on the dating site. His identity had been stolen. Always report a profile that is suspicious.

The latest tonight, and yes, I tried again, took me by surprise. I thought I’d heard it all.  The man wrote me he thought my profile was nice. His profile was nice, but there was no photo. I did not read all his information, but wrote back, “No photo, no interest.”

“Did you understand what I wrote?” he replied. I went back and looked at his full profile. It ended with, “My job has me working with an Internet fraud agency, therefore legally I can not post my photo. Please do not ask me to, as I can’t compromise my job.”

True or false? A new one for me. At least he lived in Virginia.

Actually, many of my friends have met their mates through on-line dating services. One did a full background check on her guy before they met in person. She told him about the background check on their first date. He laughed. His sister had run a background check on her. They are now happily married.

I do believe in true romance, so every so often I try online dating again. I never meet single men in real time. My advice to anyone who wants to try the different dating services be alert to warning signs. If a doubt enters your mind, listen to it. Our first reactions are sometimes the best. Never reply to anyone who wants money, personal information too soon, and always meet in a safe place. My rule of thumb when I first started dating as a widow, was to let a friend know who and where I was meeting. I wanted there to be a starting place if I didn’t come home!

One young man I recently talked to about his dating experiences gave me the other side of the story. “I hate to go to a girl’s house without having many dates. You never know what is on the other side of the door when you enter.”

Good to know that sometimes it is a two-way street.

Thinking about dating again at sixty-three is a life scam of its own! But sometimes it feels good to be back in the game!

Barbara Barth, CEO of Life

There is a movement on to help the small business owner and it is gaining momentum!  The weekend after Thanksgiving is the busiest time of the shopping year. Retailers are promoting Black Friday deals even earlier than ever this season. Online shoppers eagerly wait Cyber Monday. Now add into the mix Small Business Saturday. On November 26, people are being asked to Shop Smallsm at their favorite local stores and help fuel the economy. The new slogan When we all shop small, it will be huge is being posted all over towns nationwide.
Small Business Saturday® is an American shopping holiday created by American Express. It was first celebrated on November 27, 2010. In contrast to Black Friday and Cyber Monday, Small Business Saturday encourages holiday shoppers to patronize local small business. Small businesses are critical to the nation’s overall economy. Their importance to local communities extends even further.  “For every $100 spent in locally owned, independent stores, $68 returns to the community through taxes, payroll and other expenditures, according to the small business advocacy group The 3/50 Project.”
“Small businesses are the foundation of our economy – half of America’s workers either own or work for a small business,” said SBA Administrator Karen Mills.  “Small Business Saturday is an opportunity to show our support for our friends and neighbors who throughout the year are growing our local economy, as well as supporting many local initiative and organizations.”
“FedEx Corp. (NYSE: FDX) is injecting $1 million into the small business economy of the United States with its support of Small Business Saturday 2011. The commitment, announced September 27, will send tens of thousands of additional consumers into Main Street merchants on November 26, helping to drive holiday sales for local businesses at a time when customer demand remains among their biggest challenges.
As the premier sponsor in the “Shop Small Gift Card” program, FedEx will give away for free 30,000 Shop-Small American Express gift cards, each worth $25, to consumers through a Facebook promotion leading up to Small Business Saturday on November 26. Ten thousand additional cards will be distributed directly to FedEx customers. The contribution means more money in the cash registers of locally-owned independent businesses.”
Visit Facebook https://www.facebook.com/SmallBusinessSaturday to learn more about this initiative and the many big businesses supporting it.
“When we invest in small businesses, we are investing in Main Streets – the places that give our towns and cities a unique sense of place,” said Stephanie Meeks, president of the National Trust for Historic Preservation, which includes the National Trust Main Street Center. “By celebrating Small Business Saturday and shopping at independent businesses, everyone can play a part in strengthening our economy and supporting revitalization on our Main Streets.”
For me, Main Street USA and small shops hold a romantic vision. “A Shop Of One’s Own” is a phrase I use all the time. All my friends dream about having their own business, a slice of the American dream, once called ‘mom and pop’ shops, now upscaled for many specialty shops to ‘boutiques’. Shopping your local merchants is an experience much different than shopping retail outlets. Both have their place, but the personal service you find in your neighborhood businesses can’t be beat.
Since opening my shop January of this year, in a small hub twenty some miles from my home, I have experienced the joys of meeting my neighbors and the hardship of trying to keep a small business going in this current economy. I love my big business friends, but I love the heart of America. Shopping small will help keep that heart beating!
Barbara Barth, CEO of Life

I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead! You’ve heard that from me before. I love that phrase! It makes me feel fearless. I stay up so late at night, it is sometimes morning by the time I crawl into bed. Not that bright sunshiny morning, but that early morning when the rest of the world is still sleeping (except for those on the night shift) and I am just pulling the quilt over my head.

I don’t sleep alone. I sleep with five dogs. Four sleep on the bed, the fifth, my only male, stays in the doorway protecting us from whatever demons he still sees. Of all my rescue dogs, Bray is the one who still looks up in fear if there is a loud noise or a quick movement. He is a mixed breed Afghan. His fur is long and black and he looks disheveled most of the time. The fur spikes at the top of his ears, make him appear like the Rod Stewart of dog world.

I can watch my dogs most nights as they sleep and stretch, because so much light comes through the mini-blinds on my windows. Moonlight, streetlights, and sometimes the outside night light flashes on when a critter runs by the motion detector. Too much light coming into the room at night, does not allow for total rest. I am learning more about how sleep affects my health, and I need to get better sleep habits.

The way you feel during the day, hinges on how you sleep at night. One of the key components to a better night’s sleep is darkness. My bedroom is well lit from the outside most every night. Turning off my bedside lamp darkens my room for a minute, then my eyes adjust, and the light shining in allows me to see the outline of everything in the room. There is no rest for me! No wonder I am tired most days. I can accomplish much with little sleep, but the quality of my sleep is poor.

Thanks to my friends at The Balancing Act, Lifetime TV’s morning show for women, I have found a solution and a great contest to enter.

Let me tell you about it.

The Official Curtain of the National Sleep Foundation, SoundAsleep ™ Room Darkening Curtains, appeared on The Balancing Act on October 24th and November 21st. Sleep Curtains (7 AM Weekdays). These curtains marry fashion, function, and design to create the perfect sleep environment for everyone. Their room darkening technology reduces penetrating light, which allows for a key factor for a good night’s sleep…darkness. They are available in 10 colors and 4 lengths, with 2 valance style options. Prices range from $19.99 to $34.99 depending on the curtains length. They are made out of washable textured chenille fabric and easy to purchase on Amazon.

The Sleep Better and Win! Sweepstakes will award a $500 Amazon Gift Card on November 23rd and the grand winner, to be announced on December 9th, will get a $1500 Amazon Gift Card.

The contest has already begun, but you can enter now! Just go the Sound Asleep Curtains Facebook Page and Like them. You will receive one entry for the sweepstakes, and may receive additional entries for sharing their page with your friends. Complete details on Facebook.

Just think, you could win an Amazon gift card, buy your curtains, and still have a big holiday spending spree.

A good night’s sleep is essential for a healthy day. It can be as simple as buying a lovely pair of room darkening curtains. Now that is a winning situation.

Follow on Twitter too!

We’d like some sleep too. Get those curtains!

Posted by Barbara at 12:09 AM
Labels: Amazon, contest, sleep, Sleep Better And Win Sweepstakes, the balancing act

I actually had a few super great days I felt the stars and I were in alignment. I met a new girlfriend who read and loved my book, I found a new location for my shop, and the latest photo taken for Facebook had me looking happy, no longer stressed out. Wow! When I looked in the mirror the face I saw was relaxed. I smiled, puckered, and kissed the mirror. For you honey. I’m back! The honey in that sentence is moi. I wouldn’t want to give the impression that the world really rocked and I’d met someone. Although in my current state of chaos, moving my shop eleven miles up the road to a new location, I don’t have time for anything else, much less a man!

I got several good days out of my mirror kiss. Then, like a date where you kiss and tell too soon, things started to change. I dumped myself. Yes, that’s right. I dumped that happy, gee I am looking good gal, and went back to reunite with the stressed girl I had just left behind. It was not pleasant rejoining the dark side of myself.

My shop was the culprit. I felt sure of that. I went from happy to neurotic in a blink of the eye. I felt like I’d split, becoming two different people. One was my evil twin being mean spirited to the new gal in my shop. The other was a gal somewhat paranoid about her business choices. Perhaps less coffee and more sleep would have been a quick cure. But I can’t give up my coffee and my business motto is I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

I had recently given a small space to a gal in exchange for a few hours of work a week. I was on stress overload trying to keep three shop buildings open by myself. I didn’t know her, but we had mutual friends. I was pleased I’d made this decision. Some of my other decisions had me wondering about my own sanity, but this seemed like a solid plan. What could possibly go wrong?

I think what went wrong was me! Everything she did caused a problem. I started to wonder if she was pulling the wool over my eyes about what she was doing alone in the shop. I worried she was trying to steal my few loyal customers. She talked too much about my business to others and I didn’t want anyone speaking on my behalf. I had my reasons for being uncomfortable with her, but that was not a hall pass to be rude. I was rude and I hated myself for that.

She came into the mix just as I was trying to sort out my own issues on whether to renew my leases. Within a week of her arrival I had decided to give notice on, not one, not two, but all three buildings I had rented in a sleepy hollow that had very little foot traffic. Three buildings were more than any one person could handle. I made many friends. I had only a handful of customers. A location in the nearby town came open where I could have my shop, and events, all under one roof. I jumped on renting it. The downside was that two of the buildings were under lease through December. The third was month to month, which allowed me the freedom to make this choice.

I broke the news to her. “I am leaving end of the month.”

She gave me a funny smile. I swear she was excited about the news. She had previously talked about my shop being in her business plans. She knew I still had my leases. Her smile was brilliant. Her eyes sparkled as she asked me, “What are my options for the buildings?”

I wasn’t very nice to her. “Your options are simple. Call the landlord and rent from him, or you are out next weekend.” Ouch. Did I really have that tone in my voice? I felt like a total bitch. Not that bad bitch, cool gal, but just a bad attitude bitch that made me depressed. She left and I curled up in my wing chair and closed my eyes. I had to block out the afternoon.

“Hey! Are you there?” It was my neighbor. “Are you seriously sleeping?’

In fact, I was. The stress and heat had me dead asleep for a few hours. It was dark outside the door.

She came in and plopped down on her corner of the yellow love seat. We shoot the breeze into the late night hours several times a week. Talk got around to the new gal at my shop.

“I didn’t know if I should tell you this, but the other day she and a few of her friends performed a ritual in front of your shop, to rid it of an evil spirit.” She paused to test my reaction. “She used oils and all. It was some sort of an exorcism.”

I watched her hands. She was flipping a deck of cards.

“You know, she tells customers my shop has ghosts. I don’t like her in my business. I told her to leave my ghost alone. I don’t want her performing any ritual down here.”

Again she was shuffling the cards about.

“She won’t mess with me because she knows I read Tarot cards.” She held up a card with a sword on it.

“Come on. You’re making this up!” I tried to make light of it and ignored the card. I had no idea what it meant.

“No, honey. The next day you came in and said you’d given notice to the landlord. I guess that demon she got rid of was you!” She laughed, then narrowed her eyes to show me she didn’t think it was funny.

I am not sure I believe in ghosts, but I do believe in the energy you create. Now someone had tampered with my energy zone. I didn’t like that one bit.

The conversation made me feel uneasy, so I was happy she got up to leave. “Wish you weren’t moving.” We hugged goodbye for the night.

Someone else stood in the doorway as she walked out.

“Saw the lights. It’s pretty late. Wanted to be sure you were OK.” I have many locals who come by the shop to chat. He is one of them.

I like this guy, but he talks non-stop to the point you want to put a pillow over his mouth to shut him up! He doesn’t come by to flirt with me; he just likes to have an audience when he talks. His wife probably enjoys the break when he visits. I usually try to rush him off before he gets cranked into his never-ending stories.

Tonight I was happy to see him. He seemed sane in a world gone a bit mad. Ghosts, Tarot cards, exorcisms; was there a full moon? Silhouetted in the doorway, he suddenly looked very appealing. Tall and thin, with a wisp of a beard, I found myself watching him with lustful eyes. I haven’t had a man around in some time, and, for a nanosecond, I wondered, what if? That phrase pops up more then I like these days and on too many different topics.

Stop that! My brain yelled at me. You don’t mess with married men. I was the devil looking at him with a hunger I did not need to feed. Obviously the exorcism hadn’t worked. That I even toyed with that word was as ridiculous as the idea of toying with the man in front of me.

“Can’t talk.” I pushed him gently towards the door. “Out! I have work to finish.”

I locked the door behind him and peeked out the window. There was a full moon in the dark sky. That would help explain the day, but it didn’t make me feel better. The quiet was overwhelming.

I wanted to call someone and talk. I felt like I’d bothered all my friends enough this week. I think back to all the folks who stopped in to say hello over the last few days. I talked until I watched them fidget, pull out keys and, while I was still mid sentence, get up to go.

“Gotta run. Dinner with the family.”

Then they left to be with loved ones and I stood there alone.

Some days I feel needy. On those days, I talk no more, or less then on any other day, but on those days, I feel I am talking too much.

What I really needed to do tonight was paint my two blue cupboards white and not listen to this mumble jumble. The blue does not go with my new décor at the shop. I grabbed the paint and eased myself down in front of the first cupboard. There is no reason to hurry. The dogs are fine. No one is waiting for me. No one has been waiting for me in the three years since my husband died. I was tired beyond words and the ghost of sadness had returned to haunt me.

I started painting and watched as blue slowly turned to white. Each stroke of my brush lightened my spirit. Blue to white. Yes, truth be told, I was blue tonight. But tomorrow would be another day full of the anticipation of my new shop.

I thought back to the day I kissed my mirror. I was euphoric at that moment. I had just given notice to my landlord. It was as though a huge weight flew out of my body. The release felt grand. Then for some stupid reason I fell prey to stress again. How many exorcisms does it take to get your head screwed on right? I’ll let you know when I figure it out.

I have patched things up with my happy side. I’m not kissing mirrors, but when I look in the mirror, I like the image winking back at me!

Did an exorcism make me change shop locations? It is folly for thought on these cool fall nights. Change was needed to be able to keep my shop alive. I’ve moved and love my new location. What happened to my old shops you might ask? My vision of other businesses bringing life to the street has come true. Two of the three shops are rented and the third is being looked at. That gal who was the thorn in my side, who may have performed a ceremony in front of my shop, is my friend now. She rented the space she had wanted to control. She has a bright smile, a bit devilish perhaps, but I am happy she helped me see the light of change, however her method!

Barbara Barth, CEO of Life