Like most parents, I’m gearing up for awards banquets, graduation ceremonies, class parties — all the end-of-school-year hoopla that typically culminates in one question: What is your son or daughter doing this summer?

If plans aren’t nailed down yet, that question can throw a working parent into a tailspin. Summer now requires a whole new level of organizational management, particularly against the backdrop of longer hours on the job for many workers.

Now is the time to begin scoping out vacation dates and summer camps, negotiating flexible schedules and seeking out someone willing to cover for you when you take off.

Here are some ideas to help with your summer work/life balance:

Vacation 

* The first challenge is to find dates that work. For a less stressful vacation, choose dates that correspond with down time in your business. For working parents, jetting out of town the week before school starts probably isn’t the best idea but it is a great week to take off to buy supplies.

*Get it on the calendar early. Once you figure out the best vacation time, give notice to your boss, customers and co-workers. There are some weeks higher in demand so get first dibs now.

* Start your homework, organizing what needs to be done in the weeks leading up to your vacation and who you can train to fill in. You might do some of your tasks together for a few weeks. “You have to align your support team,” says Doug Arms, senior vice president at Ajilon Professional Staffing.

Flexibility

* Consider blocks of time off. Jetting off to Europe isn’t your only option to summer downtime. Flexibility in your work schedule may be just what you need to rejuvenate. Laura Vanderkam, author of 168 Hours (now in paperback) and blogger at My168hours.com, suggests starting with a simple question: “What does enjoying summer mean for you?” Make a list of what would make this the best summer of your life and have your children and spouse do the same. Next, figure out how much time those activities take, including drive or travel time, and put them on the calendar. Even if you can just take the morning off or leave early on Friday, look for something that takes three hours. “Time is easy to let slip away. You want to avoid that,” says Vanderkam

Childcare

* Look for alternatives that work with your schedule. Janice Lusky Greenspan, a Miami public relations executive, makes her summer easy and her workday the most productive by putting her two children, 4 and 7, in the same camp. “During the school year, they are in two different schools. For summer, I want one drop-off and one pick-up.”

* Sign up now. Enrollment at low-cost summer camps usually is limited and requests have doubled in recent years, according to a work/life report released by ComPsych, a national provider of employee assistance and work life programs. Jen Rinehart of the Afterschool Alliance suggests parents start with their after school care providers. “Most kids who participate in after school programs are more likely to be in summer programs. They usually don’t end up on waiting lists.”

JOB HUNTING

* Don’t let up. This summer there may be more temp jobs that turn into permanent hiring. Ryan Skubis of Robert Half International says more employers plan to bring in temporary help this year. “They recognize it helps with morale. Vacationing employees don’t have to come back to a massive pileup.”

(Chef Michelle Bernstein and her mother Martha enjoy a moment at Michelle’s restaurant Michy’s on Biscayne Boulevard in Miami.)

With Mother’s Day nearing, it is a good time to reflect on motherly pearls of wisdom. My mother had a habit of saying, “Find a job you love and always have your own money.” It was a lesson my mother, Iris, learned the hard way when she divorced. As my life grew hectic with deadlines and diapers, I was mindful of her words and continued to hold onto the job I love and some of the money I earned doing it.

Today, there are more than 85 million mothers in the United States with 72 percent of them with children under 18 earning income, according to labor statistics and the U.S. Census. As women become business owners, corporate managers, doctors and law partners, we are guided by the wise words our own mothers used to influence us.

I reached out to some of the successful women I know to learn what insights their mothers passed on:

Donna Shalala: It’s hard to argue that Donna Shalala is one of the most influential academics in the country. She has led the University of Miami as its president for 10 years and solidified its position among top U.S. universities.

Shalala says her mother, Edna, who is 99 and still comes to school events with her, has played a profound role in her life. “An avid tennis player, she would tell me to always keep my eye on the ball. She repeated it often and not always on the tennis court.” Shalala said she never could have taken the university as far as she has without staying focused. It’s sage advice she tries to pass on to college students.

(Shannon Hori, her twin boys and her mom)

Shannon Hori: Turn on the CBS4 news and you will see anchor Shannon Hori, super-composed, despite being a new mother to 2½-year-old twin boys (one underwent immediate open-heart surgery as a newborn). Hori credits her mother, Joanne, with her can-do spirit. Her mother went to college when Hori was 8, bringing her to class. She told her daughter “woman can do and be anything.” Those wise words have guided Hori as she worked her way up from smaller to larger markets in the competitive television industry.

Hori says her mother also is always on the go. She even eats breakfast and lunch standing up. Hori, too, is always on the go. And, if Hori speaks clearly for television, credit her mother for that, too. “When my mother was growing up she would read out loud from the newspaper with an English accent to try to get rid of her New York accent. It worked.”

Electronics make work life balance tough for most of us. But boy has it become challenging to curb our children’s electronic attachment!

Yesterday, I went to lunch program where a group of mothers revealed the are struggling with kids who stare at screens more than they do their friends faces.

One mother mentioned that every time she tries to have a discussion with her child, he’s looking at his cell, texting a friend instead of listening to her. Most of us experience electronics over-load in our family, including the pressure to buy the next, best, new device for our kids. I’m constantly arguing with my kids about how much they play Xbox.

Parenting instructor/coach Maggie Macaulay, who hosted the lunch and learn, encourages parents to help our kids find balance. She pointed out the upside of electronics “Our kids are learning things they won’t be taught in school but will help them in the job market.” She also pointed out that the use of electronics triggers the same pleasure centers in our brains that are linked with addiction.

She suggested a few tips that I thought were helpful.

* The balance is different for each child. You as a parent, make that call when you feel electronic use is affecting your child’s social life or physical fitness.

* Make agreements over electronics use. “Agreements are not dictates. Let your child have a say in the agreement,” she advises.

* Make a list of priorities with your child – homework first, cleaning room second, plugging in third.

*Poll your family on what each person likes to do and do it during a media free day or night.

* Kids are losing a connection with nature. Consider a nature tour at your local park or gardening as a hobby with your child.

*Pick your battles over electronics. Avoid unnecessary power struggles. Remember teens are hypersensitive to anything that sounds like a demand.

* Be a role model. (Sometimes, I’m so plugged in that I don’t give my kids the attention they want from me. I decided I’m going to be a better role model. I’m going to say out loud, I’m powering down now to go for a walk with you.)

Maggie also recommended three books:

Last Child in the Woods; Unplugged Play: No Batteries. No Plugs. Pure Fun; Fifteen Minutes Outside: 365 Ways to Get Out of the House and Connect With Your Kids. 

Readers, do you feel your children are too attached to electronics? Do you find it challenging to get them to unplug? Do you have a hard time unplugging, too?

Most of us working mothers still hold out hope that our boss will be understanding of the pull between work and family and that they will pay us as well as our male counterparts. If you have a male boss, you are going to want to check out the family photos in his office, notes blogger Vivia Chen.

A new study found men’s attitudes about working women are affected by the gender of their kids.

A report by the Columbia Business School (hat tip: The Juggle at The Wall Street Journal), about a study that looked at the salaries of over 700,000 workers at 6,230 firms in Denmark. It found  male CEOs with daughters tend to treat female employees more fairly. (The research was conducted by David Gaddis Ross of Columbia, Michael Dahl of Aalborg University in Denmark, and Cristian Dezsö of the University of Maryland.) Denmark is a gold mine for this type of study, because it maintains detailed demographic statistics about its workforce.

The study found a short time after male CEOs had daughters, women’s wages rose relative to men’s, shrinking the gender wage gap at their firms. The birth of a son, in contrast, had no effect on the wage gap. Researcher Ross says: “It follows that CEOs may be more apt to see their more educated women employees as resembling a possible future incarnation of their daughters.”

Chen, whose blog, The Careerist ,runs on the lawjobs.com site, says several women lawyers she spoke with aren’t convinced that men with daughters are more sympathetic to female employees. “It should be true in theory, but I don’t see it in my experience,”  one New York associate told her, adding that partners who have adult daughters in the workforce might be a bit more sensitive toward female employees.

Another associate told Chen the real focus should be on the wives, not the daughters. “[Male partners] whose wives work [outside the home] make better supervisors than men whose wives don’t,” she says.

Personally, I’ve had male boss’s with kids, without kids and I had a male boss with four daughters. I’m not convinced the daughter thing made a difference. But I do think the most fair and understanding male bosses are those whose wives work in demanding jobs.

Your thoughts?

Have you read the help wanted ads lately? Even if you have a job, you should make a habit of reading the job ads in your industry. It’s imperative today that we all know exactly what skills are required in the jobs we hold. If you learn you don’t have some of those skills. Act on it!

As career expert Tom Shea told me about training: “It’s our responsibility now,” says Thomas H. Shea, CEO of Right Management Florida/Caribbean Region. “Learning needs to be continuous if we want to advance and stay marketable.”
I know what you’re thinking. How am I going to find the time to learn new skills when I’m already struggling with work life balance?

It is doable. Teresa Guzman found a way.

Guzman was out in the field, working as a Community Outreach Coordinator for Miami Bridge Youth Services, when realized she needed more schooling to become a full fledged counselor. Research led her to Barry University, which offered a master’s degree in social work. The problem became the course schedule.

Guzman asked her supervisor  for flexibility to take Tuesday and Thursday classes, and work the weekends. The ultimate benefit to the organization would be having licensed clinical social worker on staff — even on weekends. Her boss saw the benefit. Guzman says it’s going to be a tough year, balancing work and school, but it will pay off for her down the road when she is able to advance in her career.

Squeezing skill building into your work life balance takes creativity, negotiation and self sacrifice. Fortunately, there are many more ways to grow and advance one’s career outside the confines of formal training.

1. Online  — Some believe earning the right online degree could accelerate your corporate climb. Colleges reported the highest-ever annual increase in online enrollment in 2010: more than 21 percent.  If your goal is to learn management principles, consider a master’s in business administration. If you’re working full time, start slowly with one online class that can be taken over 15 to 16 weeks. Visit an an online education directory by state. There also are lots of free online college courses. Imagine a great lecture to help build your skills but with no tests, papers or deadlines. UC Berkeley Webcasts, offers a mix of video and audio lectures as do others.
2. Webinars — About a year ago, I found a website that offers online training and self-directed classes in the multimedia skills vital to survival as my profession goes through profound changes: Knowledgewebb.net. I recently logged on to a webinar (Web seminar) on how to crow-source on social networks. Most trade associations are rolling out webinars aimed at keeping members updated with the emerging trends in their professions. Often, the group will offer an interactive format, followed by an on-demand replay for scheduling flexibility.

3. Leadership class – With budget cuts, businesses cut back on leadership training. Fortunately, academic institutions and private consultants are stepping in. It should be no shocker that female-focused leadership development programs — such as the Athena Leadership Lab at Barnard College, which was launched last fall and offers workshops costing $199 to $799 — are flourishing. Among the schools offering leadership programs for women: Florida International University in Miami; Babson College in Massachusetts; and Harvard Business School.

4. Social media —  This has quickly become a useful tool for employee learning. Cheesecake Factory, which has about 160 restaurants nationwide, uses multimedia platforms for its employee training, including a YouTube-style platform that lets employees upload and share video snippets on job-related topics, including customer greetings and food preparation.  Social media also can be used to figure out what skills you lack. Sharlyn Lauby, president of ITM Group Inc, a training consultancy, suggests joining online groups and asking questions. “If you are part of an engineering group, ask ‘What do you think are the three skills people are looking for in our field?’ and get the conversation going.”

5. Informal —  Volunteering to work on a task force or high-visibility projects with people from other departments is one of the best ways to learn new skills. Ask to shadow someone at your own company, do a job rotation, or take on a temporary fill-in assignment.

Recently, I had a business meeting over breakfast. One of the participants was texting while the rest of us were engaged in conversation. It offended me — a lot! I wanted this person to be part of the conversation and I felt like even though she was present, she wasn’t really there. I’m not sure if she felt like it was okay to do because it wasn’t a one-on-one conversation.

That brings me to the question: when is texting at the table okay?

Is it less acceptable if you are a service provider? Is it more acceptable if you are a CEO? Is it more acceptable if there are more than two people at the table.

I asked my husband, a financial executive at his company, whether he feels it’s rude and unprofessional if he’s on a business lunch and someone in the group, possibly an overworked attorney, is answering email or texting at the table. My husband told me when that happens, and is has happened, he tries to end the lunch as soon as possible. Even if there’s a group, he believes it’s not okay.

Not long ago, I would go to lunch with my boss and she would be on her BlackBerry during our lunch, clacking on the keyboard a few times during the meal. For some reason, that didn’t offend me. I knew she was an editor in the news business and news happens all the time. I gave her a pass.

Now, I’m starting to rethink whether I should give anyone a pass. If you’re outside the office, having lunch or some other meal, can’t you disconnect for an hour? Is anyone that important that an hour would make a huge difference? Are we giving too many passes and enabling people to become smart phone addicts by not speaking up?

You might want to think about the message you send when you text at the table.Without you realizing it, everyone at the table is judging your manners. 

As a mom, I always have one eye on my cellphone. Over the years, I’ve received a call or text message when one of my kids are sick and need to be picked up from school. Does being a mom make it okay to text at the table while I’m dining for business? Actually, I don’t think being a working mom gets you a pass.  Even a mom with a sick child should excuse herself and go outside to take the call or respond to the text.

Saturday night I was out with friends and my daughter sent me a text about needing a ride home. I texted her back. While doing that, I realized how rude I was being. I didn’t like it when it had been done to me. I’ve decided it’s not okay to text or take calls at the table, even during a social meal. I should have excused myself and darted to the restroom. The New York Times tackled the topic in an article, Play With Your Food, Don’t Just Text.  San Francisco Chronicle critic Michael Bauer says he has no patience for people who text while they eat.

What do you think about texting at the table? Do you think there’s a scenario when it’s okay? Has texting at the table ever cost you business or a friendship?

If you think like I do, the ultimate in work life balance is turning your dream a business. Which leads me to my pal Jessica Kizorek. Jessica brainstormed and designed her Miami business around her dream of creating a way for women to be more successful by putting some personality into their business persona. Did I mention that Jessica is only 30?
Her website,  BadassBusinessWomen.org , has just turned a year old and Kizorek is celebrating on Friday night with a bash at South Beach’s The Pink Room. I can’t wait to celebrate with her. The event will  mark the first time all of these Badass Businesswomen will finally be come together face-to-face. And Kizorek says, this will undoubtedly help them build out their relationships, as well as their businesses, even further.
Jessica is getting lots of buzz around her goal. NBCMiami wrote about her party, sponsored by Absolut, and her mission to bring powerful businesswomen together. The entrepreneur says her dream of impacting 1 million women already is well on its way to becoming reality: “When we put our heads together, we can be far more powerful than as individual businesses alone.”
During her first year in business, Jessica launched an online community that now has more than 800 members, complied a video library of free advice and facilitated about 10 workshops to empower women. Jessica showed her when delivering two consecutive keynote speeches for the Empowered Women’s Success Summit hosted by Michelle Villalobos last year. (FYI: There’s another summit coming up May 19-20 and a Badass Businesswomen cocktail party kicking off the event)
Jessica offers some tips for making your dream a business.

1. Spend time and intellecutal effort making a plan of attack. Unless you make a big plan nothing will ever happen.

2. Surround yourself with other people who will help you bring your vision to life.

3. Have to have the discipline it takes to be in action every week when things don’t look the way you want them to look.

4. If you are sitting there now and don’t know which direction you want to go in, that’s an excuse for not being in action. If you really want to be successful, you will sit down today for an hour and plan out how that success is going to unfold over the next three years.

To join the Badass Businesswomen Community, you can register on Jesscia’s website: click here. To see an exclusive sneak peek of the new BadassBusinesswomen music video, click here.
I can’t wait to see where Jessica’s dream takes her in the next year! I hope you will have success, too.
Below: Jessica in action at the Empowered Women’s Summit, (photo credit: Anais Ganouna Photography)

Last week my hubby was furious with me. Every time he wanted my attention, I was glued to my cell phone, texting or deleting email. I’m not really a workaholic but these smart phones are so addictive. Yet, marriage therapist say they see an increase in spouses who feel lonely, ignored by a spouse who is physically there but mentally in cyperspace.

As I point out in my Miami Herald column today, in the 24/7 working world, our spouses have to compete with a computer screen for our attention. The good news is that couples are figuring out how to deal with this infringement on romance…mostly by setting boundaries.

For advice on marriage in the digital age, I turned to one of my favorite relationship experts, Joel Block.

Block had two especially great tips:

1. Become more efficient at being intimate: “If you are putting on your socks in the morning, say something about the day ahead, but speak from the heart about your worries or hopes.”

2. Treat your partner like your boss, turn away from your screen and make eye contact. To communicate your needs as the spouse who wants attention, don’t nag. “Make a plan to spend time together. That’s much better than the blame message,” Block says.

3. Meet your spouse where your spouse is. For example, if your spouse is addicted to his BlackBerry, communicate with him throughout the day by email. If your spouse loves to text, send romantic text messages.

4. If you want one on one attention, ask for it. Sometimes all your spouse needs is a reminder. Of course, that may mean sending a text — from the next room!

5. About.com says find things your spouse enjoys to do to tempt your partner to put away his iPhone and enjoy time together.

This week, I’ve made a conscious effort to power down at night and take a walk with my hubby. Do you find yourself struggling with fitting romance into your busy life?