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What Do You HOPE For?

Wednesday, June 8th, 2011

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 Boys Hope Girls Hope is a non-profit, now in 16 cities and two foreign countries, that invites students from difficult, at-risk backgrounds to live in a home that provides a safe environment, financial support, academic tutoring, mentoring and opportunities to give back to the community.  If you’ve watched Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (and perhaps shed a tear), you know that Ty Pennington and his design team set out to build an 11,000 square foot place for the Girls Hope program in Baltimore, Maryland, which just accepted its first seven members.  It was the Boys Hope students who called upon Ty and his team with the “hope” of bringing the girls in their community the same educational and emotional support that they have experienced. It was moving. It was real. It was good TV.  And, it got us thinking…

As a girl (I’d still like to refer to myself as a girl- so, just go with it) what do we HOPE for?

  1. We hope to lead by example
  2. We hope to show inner beauty in a world consumed by outward appearances
  3. We hope to prove that we are smart, savvy AND strong
  4. We hope too that we live to see equal pay for equal work
  5. We hope that our children will become better versions of us
  6. We hope that our kids recognize the importance of a solid education and mentoring
  7. We hope that our daughters and sons continue give back to their community as we girls (that’d be us in case you forgot the reference) lead by example

 

Sometimes you have to do more than hope.  What do you hope for?

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Every ending brings with it a brand-new beginning

Wednesday, June 1st, 2011

Memorial Day 2011 has officially come and gone- a United States federal holiday commemorating U.S. soldiers who died while in the military service. We proudly extend a special acknowledgment to the Military Moms group within the Butterfly community! Memorial Day also marks many beginnings (as well as endings): school, graduations, summer vacations, camp… and, for Oprah Winfrey, the end of a 25-year reign as the “Queen” of TV.

“Every ending brings with it a brand-new beginning.” Oprah

This brilliant, inspiring, Oprah quote aptly applies to the end of job, career or relationship. We should hold onto these words as we pass through life (as Martha Beck, Oprah’s insightful guru, suggests) and focus on any positives that come from a negative. I trust that then we, our children and Oprah, will be more than just fine. Long-live the “Queen!”

Additional words of wisdom brought to you by the members of the Butterfly community:

Feeding Time at the Zoo, by Julie Cole
 
A Working Mother’s Commitment to Living Unplugged, by Julie Pereyra
 
Parenting Your Teen: Let Go and Let Them Grow, by Fern Weis

Please continue to share your commentary in the blog section, join many of the groups to further connect and network, as you begin a new…. (Fill in the blank!)

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How to Find a Successful Home Business!

Wednesday, May 25th, 2011

Butterfly asked and you answered! We wanted to know, “What is single biggest challenge you face as a working mom?” Top three answers: TIME (not enough), BALANCE and MONEY (providing for my family). Today we’re going to address the concern over MONEY! 

To follow are 8 Tips on how to find a Successful Home Business:

  1. Length of Time in Business ~ Do not invest time or money into any home business opportunity that has not been successfully in business for at least five years. Most scams and bad business opportunities will not make it to the five-year mark. Often new businesses will crop up with a slogan such as ‘ground-floor opportunity’ or ‘get in early’ – major red flag!
  2. Proven Business System & Free Training ~ Is there a proven business system you can duplicate and get up and running quickly? Don’t spend your time “reinventing the wheel.” Support is KEY. Join a team that stands by this concept. Members should have access to a resource center and tools to succeed.
  3. Hyped Guarantees ~ Watch out for business opportunities that guarantee you will make hundreds, thousands, or millions of dollars, in a specific amount of time.
  4. Credibility ~ PLEASE check if company has a good standing with the Better Business Bureau. Don’t base your decision on opinion or Internet reviews. Get the facts.
  5. Products/Services ~ Every business has a product or service – choose something that people will need and continually repurchase. This will help you in getting new customers as well as build residual income from current customers. Residual income is the best kind of income.
  6. Joining Fees ~ Most legitimate home businesses are not free to start, but the ability to get all the facts should be. It’s not necessary to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars in start up fees or products. Beware of front-end loading companies that require “Distributors” to purchase the majority of the products, not the end consumer. The company makes the majority of their profits from new distributors buying a lot of product up front or to “Get To” or “Maintain” a status.
  7. Website ~ Odds are you will need a website to market your business. There may be a slight cost here, but make sure you have access to one that can be provided at an inexpensive fee. Unless you know website design, this is a must.
  8. Compensation Plan ~ Ask if the company prints the average annual and monthly income statistics for each level you can achieve. They should have nothing to hide. Look for a company where you can continue to grow based on your efforts and hard work. Avoid buying status or monthly quotas.

Use these essential elements when deciding which home business will last long-term and help you achieve the results you envision. 

Best,

Bradi Nathan

Co-Founder

MyWorkButterfly.com


MyWorkButterfly.com

@BradiNathan

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Post Mother’s Day Follow-Up- I Have Something to Admit

Thursday, May 12th, 2011

As a follow-up to last week’s blog, where I came clean about wanting the gift of “time” for Mother’s Day, I have something further to admit. The gift of time, I realize, is a gift that we must give to ourselves… when the time is right. What I thought I wanted on Mother’s Day, to spend some much-needed time alone at the gym, was trumped by my daughter’s sweet request to bike alongside me while I ran, so that we could have some “girl time.” Venturing off to exercise solo no longer seemed like the ideal gift rather, my daughter’s desire to be with mom was actually the best gift I could have ever received. Perhaps I will save my gift to myself for when both kids go off to college or for when being with mom is no longer deemed cool (although, I assure myself this will never happen). However you chose to spend your Mother’s Day, I do hope that it made you happy as well.

Until next week,

Bradi Nathan

Co-Founder

MyWorkButterfly.com

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My Mother’s Day B*tch-fest

Wednesday, May 4th, 2011

What I want for Mother’s Day doesn’t come in a pretty blue box. You can’t bottle it, touch it or determine its worth in cents or dollars.

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The week before last was Spring break around here, which meant that my two kids were off from school while my husband remained at work. (You catch my drift?) The night before my children were to return to school from break, my son came down with a horrid stomach virus.  One week with two offspring by my side was followed by another week with one who remained home.  Throw in a trip to the hospital for IV, night terrors and the consecutive waking of offspring number two (all while working from home) and you have one mommy who knows exactly what she wants for Mother’s Day.

This is my Bitch-fest and I know you each have yours.  Are we allowed to complain? Does complaining of sheer exhaustion and the desire for two kids to be in school make me a bad mom? HELL NO!!! It makes me, like most, yearn for the one gift that the words “I love you Mom!” written in crayon font, simply cannot offer. And that, my friends, is the GIFT OF TIME!

So if it’s time that we’re after this Mother’s Day, let’s take it! How will we achieve the gift of TIME?

  1. We will not ask, rather, tell.  Tell our husband, boyfriend, mom or friend that we need TIME. TIME to go for a walk, TIME to read, TIME to get a massage, TIME to go for a bike ride, TIME to hike, sleep, or TIME to bury ourselves in a box of cookies without being judged!
  2. We will not fold, rather, ignore. Let’s skip the laundry, not waste TIME making the beds or cleaning the house. We will go out when the kids are at school. It’s okay if we do something for ourselves and not for them this TIME.
  3. We must simplify, rather than multiply.  Multiple sports, carpools, birthday parties and commitments leave us with little to NO TIME!  Let’s designate one sports free, non-carpool driving, birthday party singing day and get someone else to do it so that we can have TIME.  We’ll lean on a friend, neighbor, class mom, sibling, and ask (beg if we must) for them to pitch in to help stop the insanity at least for one day.  This will give us the much-needed TIME to do anything other than food shop.

What I want for Mother’s Day this year is TIME. It’s the best gift we can give to ourselves and in turn, to our families. The gift of TIME may make us better Mothers (I know… hard to imagine) and for some, better lovers.  (Wink-wink!). Have a wonderful Mother’s Day because you, WE, deserve it!

Warmly,

Bradi

Co-Founder and Mother

Work/Life Advocate

MyWorkButterfly.com

Follow us on Twitter @Butterflymoms

Fan us on Facebook (Nicole Richie is a Fan!)

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Top 10 Career Limiting Moves with Butterfly’s Career Expert, Dorothy Tannahill-Moran:

Thursday, April 21st, 2011

“If you’re reading this, you probably don’t need to worry too much about bad decision making or judgment. Most of the time, people who amble through life are barely making it, and give as much “thought time” to their behavior as a cow does. Nevertheless, it’s good to occasionally think about this issue before you seriously trash your future. I would point out that there are things that don’t show up on this list, like leaving the microphone on while you discuss top secret information, simply because they are so rare. This list is all about the CLM’s (yes, it’s now an acronym) that are most common.

1. Lack of real insight or thought
The impact of this leads to situations that exist purely based on the fact that some people fail to pay attention to how things work and their own behavior.

2. Confusing actions for results
We get paid, not to show up, but to actually get some type of results. Unfortunately some people think that simply just doing stuff is what it’s all about.

3. Chronic absence or tardiness
If you are absent too much or late too much, you won’t be going anywhere because YOU are undependable.

4. Refuse to admit you made a mistake
We all make them. We’re supposed to learn from them. When you don’t admit a mistake, we not only know you’re clueless, we kind of expect you to repeat it.

5. Inappropriate computer use
Doesn’t matter if you view porn, do Facebook or shop at work, you’re wasting company resources; and it will catch up with you.

6. Not fitting in with the culture
You can either change or leave, or get fired if you don’t fit in. There may be companies that you just can’t adjust to; be smart and figure that out before it damages your career.

7. Missing commitments
Nothing will destroy trust faster than being habitual at not meeting your commitments. No one will want to work with you and no one will want you to work for them.

8. Sense of entitlement
People who think the company or boss owes them for simply breathing air at work can be sniffed out quickly. It’s a disagreeable quality. Everyone is expendable.

9. Not thinking outside the box
If you can’t think outside the box or won’t do it because you’re too lazy, the boss will find someone who will. “Just” doing your job can be done by hundreds of other people.

10. Bad mouthing the boss or someone important
You have to assume that anything you say at work to someone you work with will be shared or spread. Most of the time the “code of silence” simply doesn’t exist no matter how close your relationship is.
There is nothing on this list that is difficult to avoid. As I said, the people that tend to really kill their chances of going anywhere in their career tend to simply not think about their environment and purpose of being employed.”

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Career advice with Butterfly’s Career Contributor, Dorothy Tannahill-Moran:

Wednesday, April 13th, 2011

Make sure you understand your responsibilities, tasks, deadlines and expectations.  While a good manager should cover all of these things with you, sometimes that doesn’t happen or doesn’t get covered very well.  You need to take responsibility for yourself.  Have the discussion and document what you’re told.  Until you know the job really well, occasionally refresh your understanding of these items.

Seek performance feedback on an ongoing basis.  It’s hard to go astray when you constantly know how you’re doing.  This allows you to course correct before getting too far off track.  It also confirms your performance in the mind of the boss, because they are reinforcing good outcomes.

Don’t fail to recognize other’s opinions.  The boss may be detached from your work enough that they trust their own judgment less than others you interact with.  You need to know who these “stakeholders” are and ask them for their feedback.  I have seen bosses think an employee was doing well until someone came to them and filled them in on how crappy their employee was doing.  Those opinions matter.

Document your performance.  We don’t always think to do this, but it is an important part of solidifying your understanding with those around you.  If you work in an environment that requires some kind of status report, this is a perfect opportunity to document what you have done and how it was done.  If you can, include data results that will enhance what you’ve written.  If you don’t work in that type of situation, then go ahead and produce a monthly recap, even if it is for yourself.  You might inform your boss what you are doing to see if they would like a copy.

When it Has Gone Bad

Listen and ask questions.  It is hard to avoid being defensive in these circumstances, but it will only make matters worse for you.  When you are trying to defend what you’ve done, you aren’t listening.  When you’ve been told you have missed the mark, you need to understand the difference between what is expected and what you delivered.  You need to seek enough information that will lead you to put together an improvement plan.  From my experience, most people simply have a hard time “seeing” their own behavior versus their intent.

Don’t over compensate.  When you are having a hard time delivering the basics, you need to stick with really learning how to do them well.  I have seen people in performance trouble decide to start doing things out of their scope of responsibilities or take one element of what they are doing wrong and over-correct.  The best analogy I can give you is if you were told you drove to close to the center line and you over-corrected to the point you’re driving on the shoulder of the road.  The over-correction is also a problem.

Evaluate yourself.  You may not want to think like this, but you might be in the wrong job.  You may not be suited to the kind of work you’ve been hired to do.  This isn’t failure, its awareness.  Because we don’t have many tools to help determine the right career, we often end up in careers by default.  That default may not support who you authentically are.  You need to evaluate, not only your ability to respond to the performance expectations, but whether you can sustain and grow from them.  A career that is misaligned will cause you years of stress and unhappiness.

Limit your venting.  At times like this, we need to release some of the emotion and frustration.  Find a neutral person that will let you flap your arms and say nasty things without judging you or participating.  You will find, however, that venting and talking over your situation too much will not improve your attitude, but will only make you feel worse, especially with people at work.  There are those people who love a good dust-up in the group.  They will gravitate to you like flies to honey.  They will do everything they can to set you off into another emotional frenzy.  You need to keep your complaining to a limited set of people and only a limited frequency.

The vast majorities of us do fine in our jobs most of the time, yet have a performance hiccup at some point.   You can avoid some of it with these few simple actions.  When or if it does come your way, you can turn it around and even gain something in the process.”

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I should be feeding the poor, volunteering at my kid’s school, cleaning my closets…

Wednesday, March 30th, 2011

What is the single biggest challenge you face as a working mother? According to Dr. Robi Ludwig, Butterfly mom and nationally known Psychotherapist, one of the biggest obstacles mothers face is not knowing how to take time out for themselves- without feeling guilty.

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I listened attentively as Dr. Robi spoke to a room packed with 600 inspiring women this past week at the Go Red for Women fundraiser to create awareness and prevention of the number one killer in women, heart disease. Dr. Robi said clearly,  Stress can have a very negative impact on us and get far too many women to neglect their health and happiness in the process.  As we know, anything that increases our stress levels can also weaken our immune system.” It was as if I was catapulted on to Dr. Robi’s personal couch! She went on to say, “It’sthe guilt factor that gets even the most sophisticated, self-nurturer, to forgo their much needed time to replenish oneself.  It usually starts as a powerful little voice, from somewhere deep within. It rears its ugly head every now and again to say, “I shouldn’t be doing this.” “This is so self indulgent.” “I’m so selfish!” “I’m a really bad person.” “I should be cleaning my closets, feeding the poor, flying to Japan to help out the tsunami victims, while substituting at my kid’s school.”

Women’s lives are filled with more responsibilities and obligations now, than ever before. It’s not uncommon for women to stretch themselves too thin and to push themselves to the breaking point. Women now have successful careers and family lives. People count on and rely on us, which can be very flattering, but can also be very overwhelming at times.

Face it, we’re usually far better at taking care of others than we are of ourselves and it can get pretty darn tiring at times!! So, what stops us from taking time out for ourselves? Why is this so hard for us as women to do?“ Read more

Butterfly was invited to this most memorable Go Red event to learn from Dr. Robi and to introduce Emme, the first full-figured Supermodel and Butterfly Mom Mentor, as the keynote luncheon speaker.  Like Dr. Robi, Emme spoke about the importance of nourishing our souls, and added that body diversity and curves rule! One of Emme’s favorite quotes, and now mine too:

“It’s never too late to be what you could have been.” George Eliot

Best,

Bradi

Co-Founder and Mother

Work/Life Advocate

MyWorkButterfly.com

Follow us on Twitter @Butterflymoms

Fan us on Facebook (Nicole Richie is a Fan!)

Bradi Nathan

Co-Founder

MyWorkButterfly.com


MyWorkButterfly.com

@BradiNathan

201.396.7770

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